Two Years
by SnarkySusan
Summary: Susan and Elizabeth reminisce the events that happened between Mark's death, and their realization of who they're really meant to be with. UPDATE: Susan finally reads the other letter Mark wrote for her. COMPLETE
1. Prologue

TITLE: Two Years

PAIRING: Susan/Elizabeth

RATING: T

SUMMARY: Susan and Elizabeth reminisce the events that happened between Mark's death, and their realization of who they're really meant to be with

SETTING: Canon until "The Greater Good" from Season 10. Chuck and Susan get back together for the second time, but they soon split again and Susan does not get pregnant with Cosmo, and Elizabeth still juggled with two men at the same time

_Two years._

_Two years since that fateful day in Hawaii. Two years since she felt her entire life slip away from her - the very same way her husband, the love of her life, slipped away from the physical world and into another kind of world yet to be discovered by anyone. Two years since she was left alone with a young daughter and a moody, rebellious stepdaughter to take care of, both reminders of her life and what remains of it in the present._

_All she had left was her career - all her hard work she experienced as one of County General's top trauma surgeons. Friends? They all left even before that - Peter went to another hospital because of more flexible hours needed, and Carol went to Seattle to be with Doug in what seemed to be a fairytale ending._

_...a__nd the ones left in Chicago have their own problems...Big problems to deal with. The one she considers as the only friend she has left is now slipping away, only in the more dangerous territory of emotional illness after that chopper took away not only his arm, but his entire career he so built from the ground up, only to be yanked away like how an owner yanks the leash when the dog tries to get more freedom than it can get. _

_Two years._

_Two years since she hopped on that Amtrak train in the dry, sunny deserts of Phoenix. Two years since she saw the big changes that happened in County after a five-year sojourn to that, dry, sunny city - Chloe, Little Susie and Joe __just moved out of state, and she can't just follow them across America, so off she went to that cold, windy city she always considered home. Two years since she met face-to-face with the person she only managed to make sporadic long-distance calls to, only to discover that he had an illness that started to slowly eat away his life the previous year, and has come back to finish him once and for all. _

_It was really painful for her to take her best friend to her apartment after his therapy session. Although more painful for him because he endured such a procedure without the support of his wife, who left him after making him choose between his two daughters in the height of intense stress and emotion._

_Keeping him in that house took a toll on her personal relationships, especially that with Carter, who she has been with for the past few months. Though she realized from the get-go that Abby is who he really wants, she kept going like nothing happened._

_Two years since she read that letter. Two years since she secretly yearned about taking a plane to Hawaii despite a crippling fear of flying. Two years of her wondering what "things of a personal nature" was he talking about in that letter._


	2. Chapter 2

"I can't believe it has really been two years since Mark left.", Elizabeth said contemplatively while sitting on the bed she shared with the person who helped her get up of that emotional coma that has plagued her for so long. "I spent so much time trying to move on, I already forgot who I was moving on from."

"How was it for you?", asked Susan while climbing up to the other side of the bed.

"The first few days were like the phantom pains a person gets after being amputated. The brain thinks that the missing part is still there, but physically, it really isn't. Like how I still saw Mark play with Ella in out backyard, or prepare himself for work...and when I discover that he really isn't there anymore, the pain remains.", explained Elizabeth. "Then then each passing day, the pain starts to decrease more and more, until all it leaves is a reminder of what was taken away, and along with it is a loss of feeling on that part."

"But that wasn't the worst part.", continued Susan. "The worst part was trying to move on without it. I remember when all I did the year after was go to one party after another, date one man after another, until it ended with me in Las Vegas married to a man I just met a few days before."

"You mean Chuck?" asked Elizabeth, smiling.

"Mmmhmm." nodded Susan. "In hindsight though, he really isn't the type of guy I'd marry. A summer fling, maybe it's plausible. Marriage? Don't get me wrong, he's a nice guy, but he was the type of person who doesn't care if he snores the entire time in bed, leaves the toilet seat up even if there's a woman in the house, and doesn't know where the "off" switch in his being is located."

"And you know how women feel about those types of men.", laughed Elizabeth, with Susan following suit. "Yes, dating was always the hardest part. I remember the surgeon I first dated."

"You mean the one you turned down for coffee and asked you to introduce me to?" asked Susan, wide-eyed. "What happened to that guy?"

"I fell for him. I really did. He was sweet, funny, smart..." dreamily said Elizabeth while looking up the ceiling with a smile.

"But?" asked Susan expectantly.

"Married." said Elizabeth while suddenly looking back down. "Turns out he hid all pictures of his wife in a cabinet when I come over to his house."

"Glad you didn't introduce me then.", snarked Susan. "I hate it when guys do that. Women are not toys you play with and throw away once you get tired of them."

"After Dorsett, I dated two men, a doctor, a British doctor to be exact, and a teacher who is also a single parent with a daughter Ella's age. Needless to say both didn't last long.", said Elizabeth. "Little did I know that the person I'm destined to spend the rest of my life with is just working on the ground floor of County."

"...and who could that be?" Asked Susan, with a fake curiosity and that distinctive grin Elizabeth always loved seeing. With that Elizabeth reached her arms out to Susan and gave her a tender kiss. At the point of contact, the blonde reciprocated. Kissing a woman certainly is different. They tend to be less rough, more tender, and less likely to have halitosis.

"Liz..", Susan softly called her girlfriend that special nickname reserved as a term of endearment.

"Suz...", Elizabeth called back, doing the same thing.

"Liz, I know that I will never, ever be able to replace what Mark has done for you, like get you pregnant, or even replicate all those happy memories you had. But I will always, always take care of you and Ella.", sincerely told Susan, sweeping off a stray ringlet covering Elizabeth's face. "Mark was and still is my best friend, and he told me when I took him to my house, that all he wanted was for you to be happy, whoever you end up with right at this moment. I promise you all that."

"You promise that, Suz?", asked Elizabeth, with tears of joy threatening to fall out. "For me?"

"I promise.", said Susan softly, lovingly, yet with conviction. "I love you so much, Elizabeth Corday, and for the first time in my life, I found the Right One."

"I love you too, Susan Lewis.", cried Elizabeth with tears of love and joy. "Thank you for being part of my life."

The two women then had the most passionate kiss they had that day. It was perfect - strong, not too much tongue, yet tender and loving. One thing led to another and it ended with Elizabeth and Susan snuggling under the covers, relishing the feeling of warmth in each other's embrace.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

A few hours later, Susan woke up to find herself thinking yet again about those "things of a personal nature" Mark wanted to say to her. She couldn't help but think about all the "what could have been?" questions that suddenly entered on her mind, or those regrets that have been bugging her for quite a bit. Her thoughts then went to something she has been putting off for so long.

Making sure to not wake up the already sleeping Elizabeth, Susan slowly sneaked out of their bed and into her cabinet across the room. She felt her heart jump out of her ribcage when a tiny squeak echoed as the drawer opened, looking back at the bed to make sure there aren't any signs of anyone waking up.

Susan took out a small red envelope with a light yellow wax seal on the flap. On the back portion, the words "To: Susan" in Mark's familiar handwriting are inscribed at the very center. Susan has had that letter with her just after Elizabeth, on Mark's behalf, faxed that letter addressed to the entire staff. What the rest of the ER staff didn't know was that after Mark's funeral, Elizabeth gave her another letter – the very letter she was holding right at this moment.

Her hands trembled nervously as she peeled the seal off, tears threatening to fall out. After several failed attempts of opening the envelope, Susan finally managed to open it. Looking at the date, she noticed that this letter was written during the time he announced that he stopped undergoing treatment. After taking a deep breath, she started reading the letter.

_April 24, 2001_

_Dear Susan,_

_I know it's going to take a long time for you to be able to read this. I should have said goodbye sooner, but the pain of leaving you was just too much._

_First of all, I'm sorry for not letting know my feelings about you sooner. It was foolish of me to think that saying "I Love You" just moments before your train left Union Station would be enough to make you stay here in Chicago with me. If you only knew what happened just after you left. How much has happened to me since you stepped on that train, that was how much I missed you not just as my colleague, but as my confidante, my best friend..._

Susan tried to stop the tears starting to flow from her eyes as she read those first few sentences, but she knew she was fighting a losing battle and just let it all out.

_...It all started with finding myself lying on the men's room almost bleeding to death. I dated, no, juggled woman after woman, not really because of love, but because of an attempt to fill the void that you left as soon as you were gone. Then one by one, I lost all the people I cared for. First you, then Doug, Carol, Rachel, all of them. Never have I felt so alone in my entire life. Then I fell in love with Elizabeth. She made me feel like my old self again. It was as if I was a Phoenix reborn from the ashes..._

"Elizabeth does have a knack for that.", Susan laughed at the thought. "She really does."

_But even with a wife, even with a baby, I still felt that there was something missing. That missing piece was finally found when you went back from Phoenix. Seeing you peek from that trauma room made me feel all happy inside like a baby who finally found his mother after searching for so long. I know that you and Elizabeth didn't really have a good first impression of each other, but believe me, she's actually really fond of you and told me that she wanted to get to know you better..._

"I did get to know her, Mark. I really did.", said Susan to herself. "Even more than how I imagined it to be.."

_...My biggest regret is all those "what could have beens" and "what we could have dones". What could have been if you didn't leave, what we could have done if I knew that I was going to relapse, what could have happened if I followed you to Phoenix..._

By this time, the trickle of Susan's tears became a flood and some of them already fell on the letter, leaving ink marks on its path. She was crying so much that she didn't realize that Elizabeth was quietly sitting beside her.

_...But whatever has happened between us, know that even as I lay on my grave, I will always, always have a special place for you in my heart. Always knows that. Be strong, Susan – for Elizabeth, for Ella, for Rachel. They rely on you more than you think they do. I love you, Susan, and I will always watch over you wherever you are, whoever you are with._

_Goodbye, Susan. Thank you so much for being the very best friend I could ever have._

_Love,_

_Mark_

Susan read the letter over and over again, tears clouding her vision until she can see no more. She has always been "the strong one" for a lot of people after Mark died, but for the first time in two years, all those bottled-up crashed upon her and she just crumbled. Elizabeth wrapped her arm tight around Susan and offered her shoulder for her to lean on as she cried her heart out.

"I just miss him, Elizabeth.", Susan said in between heaving sobs. "I miss him so much."

"I miss him too.", Elizabeth said as one drop of her tear fell on Susan's cheek, trying to be the strong one this time...for Susan who has always been her stronghold for the past years since losing her husband.

For the entire hour, they simply held each other close, not caring if they're still awake at three in the morning and that they both have work in a few hours – forever they share common a bond that no one else will ever have.

**THE END **


End file.
